Unconventional Love Poem for Allaina


Why: You said the skin on your skull
was never enough to compete with your friends.
why is it when I see your face,
imprinted as it is on my inside eyelids,
my stomach does a backwards roll
my heart pounds out at my ribs

why: said your eyes weren\'t pretty enough.
blue - but not a pretty blue you said
blue - I could stare at them for days,
lose myself wondering how long I\'ve been behind there,
a place where I could happily drown,
in the only place I feel safe

why: how you\'d hate your body.
You have no idea what I\'d give
to press mine to yours, keeping it warm,
to hold you tightly, protected from harm.
swallowed in my arms the precious shell that encases
the only girl that I adore

why: refusing to ever show a smile.
So I imagined, pretended
till my brain grew colloused,
till my brain grew sore.
It was the only thing I had to make you do
so I let my brain bleed and pretended some more

why: how could you not like your hands?
Finding they fit perfectly in mine,
Just the way you had said before.
Grinning, with you, happy, at you
we always knew, even back then,
No need to say words when we know them all

why: your lack of value of your life,
Proudly stating how wreckless you\'ve been
Proudly listing a hundred ways to unlight your flame.
telling me you don\'t care how you\'d be hurt,
never understanding how bad I\'d feel
when all I wanted was to spend mine with yours

why: your arms take the brunt of death metal.
how could you attack those to be wrapped around me?
my pillow, my vice
my womb from the world.
suddenly finding I\'m very happy
In the things I wake up in

why: Allaina, it was your lips,
how you never liked them - I know I did,
hoping to transfer some of the shape
onto my own when pressed to your mouth,
to taste to share
to learn to kiss

why: telling me you wouldn\'t be loved,
reeling off another reason why you don\'t deserve me
which you knew wasn\'t true.
Noone deserves me like you,
besides, all the time you were so very wrong
because I do and I always will

why: I\'d never like to see you cry,
cry when you\'re holding me, cry when you\'re not
tears of difference but tears the same.
Please let me be there
To wipe the moisture from your eyes,
to kiss the ocean from your face


To sit and watch the stars,
curled up with Tiger Feet.

You are beautiful. You are wonderful.
You make me laugh, make me cry but
never once did I not want to be with you and I
never stopped loving you.